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Monday, July 11, 2011
I want to be a Sonflower!
No, I didn't misspell sunflower! Have you ever watched a sunflower grow. They grow so fast. They shoot straight up, but not all sunflowers grow in the same manner. My mother and sister planted some at their houses, and I planted two at Memama's house. Mama's and Maggie's are huge, with thick stalks and blooms that are at least twelve inches wide. One of the flowers at Memama's house has bloomed and it's much shorter and thinner stalk with a bloom that may be four inches across.
I got to thinking about the differences in the flowers. They were both the same type of seeds, and had the same rich soil (we both had got some good ole' horse manure rich soil from a family members barn). The difference was that Memama's were root bound in a bricked-in flower bed; Mama's and Maggie's had plenty of room to grow. Another big difference is the amount of sun that the flowers received. Have you ever watched sun flowers follow the sun? They adore the sun, their faces are always pointed toward it. It has been so much fun watching their faces follow the sun all day long.
It really got me thinking about my relationship with the Son of God. Is my face always toward the Son? Am I planted in the rich soil of the Word of God? Is my Bible study shallow and root bound or is it deep and flourishing? I want to be the same kind of Sonflower like the Sunflower at my Mom and sister's houses. Huge! With thick, solid, firm stalks and gigantic flowers. Ya'll have a blessed, Son filled, Word of God nourishing day!
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I got to thinking about the differences in the flowers. They were both the same type of seeds, and had the same rich soil (we both had got some good ole' horse manure rich soil from a family members barn). The difference was that Memama's were root bound in a bricked-in flower bed; Mama's and Maggie's had plenty of room to grow. Another big difference is the amount of sun that the flowers received. Have you ever watched sun flowers follow the sun? They adore the sun, their faces are always pointed toward it. It has been so much fun watching their faces follow the sun all day long.
It really got me thinking about my relationship with the Son of God. Is my face always toward the Son? Am I planted in the rich soil of the Word of God? Is my Bible study shallow and root bound or is it deep and flourishing? I want to be the same kind of Sonflower like the Sunflower at my Mom and sister's houses. Huge! With thick, solid, firm stalks and gigantic flowers. Ya'll have a blessed, Son filled, Word of God nourishing day!
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Sunday, July 10, 2011
Honest question!
Why is it that I have asked God for something and now that He has given it to me one day later I am very sad? I asked God to take anyone out of my life that was hindering me from knowing Him more. I was very hurt by someone a day later. I know this is a relationship ender, but it still saddens me. I almost want to except this person back in even though they haven't admitted wrong and have even boldly lied to me about the wrong they did to me. I then remembered the prayer, and I am sad that I prayed it. It ends a season in my life and is obviously preparing me for a new one. Through it all God is good always!!!
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Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Wow! Things sure change in a Year!
I have realized that the more I get to know God, the more I realize my sinfulness. He keeps pointing out things, and I sometimes feels overwhelmed. He has truly brought me to a new place in the past year. I have been learning the difference between believing in God and BeLIEVING GOD! And take my word for it-- there is a world of difference in those two statements. I got tired of taking about faith in God and not living it out. There are so many people that get caught up in the day to day living, and they forget why we are here. We all have a purpose here on earth, if we didn't we wouldn't still be here. Figure through prayerful consideration what that purpose is and go for. STOP with the careful living! Be BOLD is sharing your faith! Don't be scared to offend, or step on peoples too sensitive toes! The gospel is offensive and it convicts! Sharing your faith isn't a once in a while thing, or something that you did in college. Know God! Believe God! Share Jesus!!!
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Saturday, July 10, 2010
A Hairy Situation!
We did a little grocery shopping today, a little swimming, and a little perming of Poo's hair. That child's hair is something else! Brianna's was almost as rough as Jadyn's until I started perming hers. Now Bri's hair is to the middle of her back. Thank the Lord Bella's is more like mine! She has ringlets all over her head. Absolutely no offense to any black woman that reads this, but African American hair is very high maintaince! I love the versatility, but the knots in Jadyn's hair would amaze the most accomplished boy scout!
I know that I have allowed Jadyn to get her way with not doing her hair as much as I should. Believe me it wont happen anymore. Wow!
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I know that I have allowed Jadyn to get her way with not doing her hair as much as I should. Believe me it wont happen anymore. Wow!
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Friday, July 9, 2010
Long Awaited Update
The TobyMac song keeps running through my head constantly lately. "I don't want to gain the whole world to lose my soul". I have been seeking the world for a long time, and it has gained me nothing. The road less taken is less taken for a reason. It's hard, and the ground is uneven. It's is even harder to get off that comfortable, well traveled road to take the less traveled one. However, I know what is at the end of both of them.
God give me strength to walk in your light and in your mercy daily.
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Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Ok, Ok
I know that has been forever since I posted last. Brianna and Isabella just got over the swine flu. They didn't have a bad case. Isabella actually had step throat too. Now Jadyn has been running a fever. Don't I ever catch a break. Hopefully she will be better by Saturday which is her 4th Birthday!!!!!!!! Four years old!!!! Wow. Time really does fly. Well must cut this short, the little monkey just woke up.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Girl Scout Trip
Brianna and Central Elementary girls that are in her gifted class.
Me and Bri
Brianna and Vandell
This is morning after hair. I had straigtened her hair and it looked so cute, but she ran and played and sweated it out. She has her daddy's hair!
Brianna and Madelyn with some of their friends.We had a girl scout weekend. My sister, Maggie, and I took Brianna and Madelyn on a trip with the girl scouts. We went to see the Montgomery Biscuits play then stayed over night at the stadium. Our little school of Fort Deposit had the largest group of girls there so they were able to sing "Take Me Out To the Ballgame" on the field in the middle of the seventh inning. Ten of our girls were selected to sing, and Madelyn and Brianna both sang. They were sooo excited. They had a ball. Vandell came to the game, which I was actually glad of and spent some time with Brianna. She loves him so much and is absolutely forgetful and forgiving.
I have shared some pictures of our night out. We had a long night. We had about 45 girls to keep up with. All of them wanted to go in 30 different directions. We had just pitched our tent when we had to move them to the concrete slab that had a roof over it. The weather was suppose to get bad, so we moved. We had just got situated again when they said all was clear and we could move the tents back. I wasn't moving again, so we stayed and slept on the concrete. Needless to say that my 33 year old back didn't like me the next morning.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Ok, Ok!!!
Ok! So, I know that it has been a while since my last blog. Life sort of gets you sometimes. You go about your business, then look up and wonder how you got to where you are. I often wonder that. There has been a lot of soul searching lately. I have fallen in love with Hebrews 12:1-3 all over again. "Therefore since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." I think that it was the theme verse for my very first beach project. I also ran across 2 Corinthians 4:18. "So we fix our eyes on not what is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." I have known these versus for a while, memorized them, but it has been a refreshment in the Word that I haven't felt in a while.
I have been struggling for a long time. I have been honestly too embarrassed of the situation that I have placed myself in to even want to talk about to people that have known me in the past. I let my certification lapse, so I can't teach until I take three classes. One minute I have the money to go, but no car to get there. Now I have a car, but no money to get the classes.
Things will eventually come together I know it will. Patience. I have always been a patient person, I guess it is one of the virtues that I was granted, but aaahhhh! I want so much for my girls. They are beautiful and smart. and sweet and bad and hard headed and I LOVE THEM! I have to tell the no sooo much. No, you can't have that and no, you can't go there and no, but maybe next week. I am sick of No's.
So, needless to say these two verses have helped me just to stay focused on the ONE who knows the right direction to go. I don't know where this life will take me, but He knows.
I have been struggling for a long time. I have been honestly too embarrassed of the situation that I have placed myself in to even want to talk about to people that have known me in the past. I let my certification lapse, so I can't teach until I take three classes. One minute I have the money to go, but no car to get there. Now I have a car, but no money to get the classes.
Things will eventually come together I know it will. Patience. I have always been a patient person, I guess it is one of the virtues that I was granted, but aaahhhh! I want so much for my girls. They are beautiful and smart. and sweet and bad and hard headed and I LOVE THEM! I have to tell the no sooo much. No, you can't have that and no, you can't go there and no, but maybe next week. I am sick of No's.
So, needless to say these two verses have helped me just to stay focused on the ONE who knows the right direction to go. I don't know where this life will take me, but He knows.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Real Birthday Party!
These are pictures of Isabella's real birthday party. We had a great time. (Bella obviously did). Hope that she doesn't expect two birthday parties every year. The bigger girls had a heart shaped pinata (sp) to bag open. Candy went everywhere. They will have candy for two months. The last picture is a picture of Bella and her great-great grandmother Memama. The girls are extremely lucky to have her. We go to her house every night to make sure she eats supper and takes her medicine. Heaven help me if I show up at her house without atleast one grandbaby. You know once you have kids it's all about them. I don't mind, though, because she loves them completely.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Pre-Birthday Cupcakes!
This is Bella and Brianna enjoying Bella's pre-birthday celabration. We are actually having her birthday party on Valentine's Day. We, of course, couldn't go without having something for her on her birthday which was the 7th. The kids went skating and bounced on some inflatables in Pratville, so they had a great time.Thursday, January 29, 2009
Prayer Request
Isabella is learning so fast. She is climbing on tables and getting into everything. I know how parents of twins must feel. Two! getting to everything in two different directions at the same time. Morgan and Bella have learned how to tag team me. They absolutely wear me out.
I am so ready to get back to teaching. I feel like no one is behind me in my quest to regain my independence, though. There are some that point out how bad the teaching job situation is right now and suggest that it would be better to sit still right now. There is some family members that let me know all of the bad things, according to them, that I do, especially if it doesn't benefit them. I do my best to help in any way I can, but it doesn't seem to be enough. I guess I am just frustrated at my situation right now, and I have to be patient to get to the place that I want to be. If you know me then you know that I am a very patient person. Very Patient. I just wish that my life didn't require quite so much patience. I prayed for patience once in college, and I guess I am being tested in that area. I have been trying to get in school for about a year now. There has either been the issue of of money or transportation. I haven't seemed to have both at the same time. I pray that it will come together this summer. I just need someone on my side. And logically I know that Christ is always on my side. That He has my back at every turn in the bend, but a lot of times I feel all alone in my quest.
I want my life to be consumed by Christ. I want to get up in the morning thinking on His will, go through the day thinking about His will, and go to sleep thinking on His will. My weak human nature must be sacrificed for His glory. All who read this, the one or two that do, please pray that I continually, actively seek God's will, and apply it to my life no matter how hard it may be.
I am so ready to get back to teaching. I feel like no one is behind me in my quest to regain my independence, though. There are some that point out how bad the teaching job situation is right now and suggest that it would be better to sit still right now. There is some family members that let me know all of the bad things, according to them, that I do, especially if it doesn't benefit them. I do my best to help in any way I can, but it doesn't seem to be enough. I guess I am just frustrated at my situation right now, and I have to be patient to get to the place that I want to be. If you know me then you know that I am a very patient person. Very Patient. I just wish that my life didn't require quite so much patience. I prayed for patience once in college, and I guess I am being tested in that area. I have been trying to get in school for about a year now. There has either been the issue of of money or transportation. I haven't seemed to have both at the same time. I pray that it will come together this summer. I just need someone on my side. And logically I know that Christ is always on my side. That He has my back at every turn in the bend, but a lot of times I feel all alone in my quest.
I want my life to be consumed by Christ. I want to get up in the morning thinking on His will, go through the day thinking about His will, and go to sleep thinking on His will. My weak human nature must be sacrificed for His glory. All who read this, the one or two that do, please pray that I continually, actively seek God's will, and apply it to my life no matter how hard it may be.
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Ice Skating
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We took the girls ice skating today. Of course, I had to skate also! I am not that great, but Jadyn just had to have me on the ice. It was all that I could do not to end up on my rear. Brianna skates around as if she has been doing it all her life, but has only been about four times. They look cute don't they! We had a day out just to have fun. We skated and then went to Build-a-Bear afterwards to get clothes for the bears that the girls already have. They are growing up so fast. They had a blast.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Getting Off The Bus
This is Brianna and Jadyn when they just got off the bus a few days ago. Brianna was very upset at me that I didn't have a current picture of her up. The girls are out of school this Friday for a teacher day, so I am taking them both to the eye doctor. I know that Jadyn is a little young, but if everyone knew how bad my eyes are then you would understand. Coke bottle rims does not describe the thickness of my glasses in the second grade. They wanted to put a patch over my left eye so that my right one would strengthen, but I dodged that bullet. Brianna's eyes were tested when she was six, but she has been squinting a little and getting close to the books that she reads. I hope and pray that all three of the girls have eyes like their fathers, because I am near blind (ha ha).
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Ok, so don't think that I am a bad mom or aunt, not just for these pictures or the fact that they seem to always just have a pamper on. I was washing some dishes, and things got a little quite, actually a little tooo quite. You know the kind of quite that only happens when kids are doing something that they aren't suppose to be doing. Morgan and Bella had snuck passed me, went into the laundery room and crawled into the dryer. They were having a ball. They were soooooo mad at me when I got them out.
Morgan and Isabella love to sit and eat cereal in the morning; however when Morgan finished her cereal she decided to help Isabella finish hers...... Bella didn't seem to mind. Can you tell which is older? Morgan( on the table) is three months older, but Bella out-weighs her. Madelyn, my older niece who is 7 loves to squeeze Bella's fat legs. She calls her the squishy baby.
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Thursday, December 11, 2008
Gingerbread Houses
Building a Gingerbread house is completely and totaly a must for Christmas. The girls had a ball making a fabulous mess. There was icing in hair, on clothes, on tables, on the carpet, and in tummies. They tried the gingerbread itself, but they didn't too much like the taste of it, so that saved the houses. The candies, on the other hand, had to be kept under lock and key. The houses are extremely blessed to have gum ball roofs and smarty holly leaves. Brianna built her's entirely on her own, but Jadyn a little help from mama. If you notice the elf in the picture that elf reports to Santa in the North Pole every night on the girl's actions during the day and returns in the morning. There is absolutely no telling where that silly little elf will be when we wake in the morning. The girls have a ball looking for him!
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Christmas Comes Early!
As you can see this is my beautiful baby girl Isabella. She is always smiling, giggling, and getting into everything. You may also have noticed that Brianna's Christmas present is being put to good use already. Yes, I know this picture is blurry. That is because the child will not stay still, and I have to work on my picture taking skills. There will be better pictures up soon. Bella is a baby that rarely cries---Only when she is tired or hungry. She is a picky eater and doesn't eat that much, but has these wonderfully chubby legs. She took 6 steps all by herself today. It wont be long before she is running all over the house! I have made plans to make a scrap book for all the girls. I have picture saved so I can make all three of them books that reflect their personalities. I love doing artsy, crafty things.
Christmas plans are coming together nicely. I am completely done! Well, not completely done. I plan to get Jadyn a Barbie doll that can ride with her on her new bike. There is this cute Barbie bike that is on the handle bars of her bicycle. I also have to pick up Brianna's Christmas Eve present. I have this tradition that was past down from my grandmother to my mother and then onto me of giving the girls a Christmas sleeping outfit on Christmas Eve. Of course we always knew that we were getting these outfits, but loved the idea of opening and seeing what kind of cute outfit Mom had found for us to wear. Mom always made Christmas magical for us, and I hope that I am able to do the same for my girls.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Missing the Craziness!
Things have been so blaaaaah lately. I have sort of got into a rut. There are so many things that I need to get done, and it seems that my hands are bound. I have recently gone through my small library of books that I have read or have wanted to read and found several that I would love to sit done and tackle. Back in the day I could read a book in two days flat, but now three kids later I long for the time to do it. Now, I spend my time chasing after two wild pre-toddlers and helping Brianna with her reading. She is struggling a bit with her reading. Don't get me wrong she knows all the words, but she is perfectionists and hates to say any words wrong so she hesitates. Her teacher says that she must increase her reading speed.
I have done most of my Christmas shopping via the internet or my sister picking stuff up for me. I have missed actually looking in the stores and buying the things myself. Am I crazy? I actually miss the craziness of the Christmas crowd shopping! Hopefully, I will get out to pick up the last little things and Brianna's digital camera. I intend on using this camera more than she does! I can't get any new pics up because I don't have the necessary items. Everything has gone missing.
Case and point.......We made gingerbread houses today-you know the pre-packaged ones that you get from Wal-Mart. The girls had a ball. Brianna did her house all by herself. Didn't want my help whatsoever. Jadyn kinda supervised the assembly of her and added a few of her own pre-licked candies to the roof. The turned out beautifully, and I would love for all of you to see the excellent craftmanship of my two oldest, but I can't .......not yet. But when Brianna gets HER digital camera watch out!!!! You will be slammed with all sorts of pictures! I have one picture in my sister's camera that is of Jadyn asleep on the potty. Now, I probally wont share that one, but believe me it's cute.
I have done most of my Christmas shopping via the internet or my sister picking stuff up for me. I have missed actually looking in the stores and buying the things myself. Am I crazy? I actually miss the craziness of the Christmas crowd shopping! Hopefully, I will get out to pick up the last little things and Brianna's digital camera. I intend on using this camera more than she does! I can't get any new pics up because I don't have the necessary items. Everything has gone missing.
Case and point.......We made gingerbread houses today-you know the pre-packaged ones that you get from Wal-Mart. The girls had a ball. Brianna did her house all by herself. Didn't want my help whatsoever. Jadyn kinda supervised the assembly of her and added a few of her own pre-licked candies to the roof. The turned out beautifully, and I would love for all of you to see the excellent craftmanship of my two oldest, but I can't .......not yet. But when Brianna gets HER digital camera watch out!!!! You will be slammed with all sorts of pictures! I have one picture in my sister's camera that is of Jadyn asleep on the potty. Now, I probally wont share that one, but believe me it's cute.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Catching Up!
Well, I haven’t blogged in quite a while. There just hasn’t been enough time in the day. An update on Jadyn…… She is doing well. Come to find out she has urinary reflux which is when the muscle that prevents urine from going back up into the kidneys is weak. She will have to be on medication until she is about five. ----Hopefully she will grow out of it. If she doesn’t then she will have to have surgery. So, for right now she is doing good with no infections lately. However, the nights with her are awful. She wakes up with night terrors at least five times a week. If you have never experienced night terrors –true night terrors--- then let explain. She wakes up screaming!----at the top of her lungs. There is nothing that I can do or say that will calm her down. I have recently started taking her outside in the cool weather, and that does seem to calm her down a little bit. Her eyes are blank. It is as if she sees straight through you. I get so frustrated sometimes. Isabella wakes up sometimes, then I have two crying babies. Brianna wakes up, and I feel so sorry for her because she has to get up at 5:30 to make it to the bus on time. We pray together at night that God will help her have a good night sleep.
On a better note, Brianna had all A’s the first nine weeks and is in the gifted program at school.. She scored so high on her IQ test at school that she didn’t have to test again to be admitted into the program. All she needed was her teacher’s recommendations—which she got. She is a girl scout and walked in the Montgomery Thanksgiving Parade. She had a great time. Jadyn and I got to walk with her because I am a girl scout leader.
Isabella is growing like a weed and will be walking soon. She is a cubby little monkey. I will have to get pictures up soon. She has about 8 teeth now and is learning how to bite, and boy! do those sharp little teeth hurt!
Christmas is soo close. The girls haven't asked for too much, but what they have asked for is sooo expensive. I-pod, Nintendo DS, Digital camera, Bike, Dora tent, cell phone (yes! Bri thinks she is getting this one, but oh well). I hate this feeling of wanting to give the girls things and not being able to do it. Times are tough now for me, and I am completely ready to feel a little of this burden lifted from my shoulders.
I am hoping to take three classes this summer to update my teaching certificate. Maybe then I will be able to breathe a little easier.
On a better note, Brianna had all A’s the first nine weeks and is in the gifted program at school.. She scored so high on her IQ test at school that she didn’t have to test again to be admitted into the program. All she needed was her teacher’s recommendations—which she got. She is a girl scout and walked in the Montgomery Thanksgiving Parade. She had a great time. Jadyn and I got to walk with her because I am a girl scout leader.
Isabella is growing like a weed and will be walking soon. She is a cubby little monkey. I will have to get pictures up soon. She has about 8 teeth now and is learning how to bite, and boy! do those sharp little teeth hurt!
Christmas is soo close. The girls haven't asked for too much, but what they have asked for is sooo expensive. I-pod, Nintendo DS, Digital camera, Bike, Dora tent, cell phone (yes! Bri thinks she is getting this one, but oh well). I hate this feeling of wanting to give the girls things and not being able to do it. Times are tough now for me, and I am completely ready to feel a little of this burden lifted from my shoulders.
I am hoping to take three classes this summer to update my teaching certificate. Maybe then I will be able to breathe a little easier.
Friday, September 5, 2008
A Good Report!!!!
Well we went to Birmingham to let the doctor's poke on Jadyn some more, and the cyst wasn't a cyst afterall!!!! We do, however, have another doctor's appointment in Montgomery on October 1st. They are going to run a camera through a cath to check and see if there is some urinary reflux going on. For the most part she is doing great.
I bought this wonderful book on forgiveness last week when I was picking up Jadyn's medicine. It is How to Forgive When You Don't Feel Like Forgiving. I can't even explain the amount of insight that I have gained from this book. I most assuredly have some forgiving to do. And I don't just mean Vandell (the girl's father) and my father, I mean myself too. There is such a blessing that you will receive by forgiving. How can I hold back forgiveness of others when I was completely forgiven through Christ? I have always known that forgiveness was a choice, that it wasn't based on your feelings. I just have never had big, hurtful issues to forgive. The past few years I have pushed it all to the back of my mind, and it has stayed there. I have built a wall around those feelings, and they have become a burden that has become toooooo heavy for me to carry around any longer.
I bought this wonderful book on forgiveness last week when I was picking up Jadyn's medicine. It is How to Forgive When You Don't Feel Like Forgiving. I can't even explain the amount of insight that I have gained from this book. I most assuredly have some forgiving to do. And I don't just mean Vandell (the girl's father) and my father, I mean myself too. There is such a blessing that you will receive by forgiving. How can I hold back forgiveness of others when I was completely forgiven through Christ? I have always known that forgiveness was a choice, that it wasn't based on your feelings. I just have never had big, hurtful issues to forgive. The past few years I have pushed it all to the back of my mind, and it has stayed there. I have built a wall around those feelings, and they have become a burden that has become toooooo heavy for me to carry around any longer.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Crazy Days on Wheeler Hilltop
My, my, my, when it rains it certainly does pour lately! Jadyn keeps getting these really bad Urinary Tract Infections. She runs really high fevers (104.8). Scary fevers. She looses complete control of her bladder, which is very unusual for her. She has never been a bed wetter. I took her to the doctor on Tuesday. She was fine when we arrived there at 9 am, but the poked and prodded her for several hours. They tried to get urine through a catheter twice. Yes, I did say twice. I hate them, so I guess for a two year old it was horrific. I know that it sure sounded that way. They held her down on one of those confining boards that strap her arms down. It took three nurses to get the catheter in and the whole time she was screaming at the top of her lungs “Let me go, get off of me” (There was a nurse that actually sat on top of her and held her legs up) It was awful!!! All of this trouble twice to get absolutely no urine specimen! They said that she wouldn’t relax enough. Yeh, like a two year old that is terrified with three nurses holding her down with tube inserted in her urethra is going to relax! They ended up bagging her-a bag tapped over her to collect urine. She wouldn’t even pee then, because she didn’t want to wet her pants. My sister (who works at the pediatric office) had to sit her on the toilet to go. I have never seen urine look soooo much like puss.
They gave her four prescriptions and told us to come back the next day. She didn’t run fever the entire day, so the office told us there was no need to come back in. Then-----she took a nap and woke up with yet another 104 fever. The office told us to take her to the emergency room. We got there at 5pm. They told us about 9pm that they were going to admit her, and it was about 2am before we got into a room. They had to put an IV in and I cried and cried. All she wanted to do was go home. She didn’t understand why she had to stay and why they kept poking her with needles. I thought that we would be going home the next day, but no. We were up there Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and half a day on Saturday. They had to do another IV on Thursday because the one that they did in the ER started to swell. She got use the IV machine and would drag the bag cart around with her. She wouldn’t eat or drink, but the women on the pediatric floor were good with her.
They kept finding things wrong with her, though. Friday they sent her down to get an echocardiogram. They heard a murmur, which I have known about since she was born, and realized that it had never been checked out thoroughly. Everything was basically fine with that. She has one valve that allows a little backflow, but shouldn’t cause her any problems. They said that we should just keep a check on it every year.
I actually saw my father’s wife at the hospital. I was trying soo hard to ignore her or at least lead her to think I didn’t know who she was, but she wouldn’t allow it. She made some remark on my flip-flops and how she had the same pair and how comfortable they were. Oh well, “Yes, they are comfortable.” That was all I could come up with for her.
We go to Birmingham on Thursday to get the cyst that is on her kidney’s checked out, more catheters and a dye test. When will all of these painful procedures for this little girl come to an end? If this were being done to me it wouldn’t be a problem, but all of this on Jadyn. Pain that your child goes through is much more painful than your own. I guess that must be a little bit like how God feels when we go through pain, or even on a bigger scale, how He felt when Jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice.
They gave her four prescriptions and told us to come back the next day. She didn’t run fever the entire day, so the office told us there was no need to come back in. Then-----she took a nap and woke up with yet another 104 fever. The office told us to take her to the emergency room. We got there at 5pm. They told us about 9pm that they were going to admit her, and it was about 2am before we got into a room. They had to put an IV in and I cried and cried. All she wanted to do was go home. She didn’t understand why she had to stay and why they kept poking her with needles. I thought that we would be going home the next day, but no. We were up there Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and half a day on Saturday. They had to do another IV on Thursday because the one that they did in the ER started to swell. She got use the IV machine and would drag the bag cart around with her. She wouldn’t eat or drink, but the women on the pediatric floor were good with her.
They kept finding things wrong with her, though. Friday they sent her down to get an echocardiogram. They heard a murmur, which I have known about since she was born, and realized that it had never been checked out thoroughly. Everything was basically fine with that. She has one valve that allows a little backflow, but shouldn’t cause her any problems. They said that we should just keep a check on it every year.
I actually saw my father’s wife at the hospital. I was trying soo hard to ignore her or at least lead her to think I didn’t know who she was, but she wouldn’t allow it. She made some remark on my flip-flops and how she had the same pair and how comfortable they were. Oh well, “Yes, they are comfortable.” That was all I could come up with for her.
We go to Birmingham on Thursday to get the cyst that is on her kidney’s checked out, more catheters and a dye test. When will all of these painful procedures for this little girl come to an end? If this were being done to me it wouldn’t be a problem, but all of this on Jadyn. Pain that your child goes through is much more painful than your own. I guess that must be a little bit like how God feels when we go through pain, or even on a bigger scale, how He felt when Jesus paid the ultimate sacrifice.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Six Flags
Well, things have been crazy around the house the last few weeks. I had a wedding that I went to weekend before last. This past Sunday I took Brianna to Six Flags. She had an absolute ball. I was tired, tired, tired, tired!!!!! She wanted to ride every roller coaster that there was. Of course, she wasn't tall enough to ride the Bateman or the Superman, darn! She loved all of the rides. Really, really wanted to ride all of the rides twice, but those lines were crazy. I had forgotten that some of the waits on those were almost an hour long. The last time I was in Six Flags there was one ride I couldn't ride because the belt wasn't long enough! How embarrassing! Well, I fit on all the rides this time. I was 203 this morning. I have a goal of 197 by Jadyn's birthday which is September 12th. 6 more to go. I still have about 50 more to go. It's getting a little old now, but I will make it. I'm having to deal with self sabatoging efforts. I always do that.
I am getting Brianna ready for school. She starts on Monday. I have so much to do. I have decided to perm her hair. I have to get a deep conditioner to put on her hair before I do it. I picked up the wrong perm and have to get another one. I have everything for her except some tennis shoes and three prong folders----which are impossible to find right now, and she needs 25 of them! Third grade- wow! time does fly by. Jadyn will start head start after her birthday in September and will be riding the same bus as her older sister. She is so excited. She is such a mama's baby I don't know how that will work, though. Mama and I have already said that she will be expelled the first week of school. OOOOH! she can be soooooooooooo bad sometimes and soooooo sweet at others. She completely fits the old nursery rhyme. "There once was a little girl with a little curl right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good she was really good, but when she was bad she was horrid." That's my Poo (Jadyn) to a T. I am going to get updated pictures of the kids up soon. So maybe all of ya'll can see what 203 looks like!!!Ha Ha.
I am getting Brianna ready for school. She starts on Monday. I have so much to do. I have decided to perm her hair. I have to get a deep conditioner to put on her hair before I do it. I picked up the wrong perm and have to get another one. I have everything for her except some tennis shoes and three prong folders----which are impossible to find right now, and she needs 25 of them! Third grade- wow! time does fly by. Jadyn will start head start after her birthday in September and will be riding the same bus as her older sister. She is so excited. She is such a mama's baby I don't know how that will work, though. Mama and I have already said that she will be expelled the first week of school. OOOOH! she can be soooooooooooo bad sometimes and soooooo sweet at others. She completely fits the old nursery rhyme. "There once was a little girl with a little curl right in the middle of her forehead. When she was good she was really good, but when she was bad she was horrid." That's my Poo (Jadyn) to a T. I am going to get updated pictures of the kids up soon. So maybe all of ya'll can see what 203 looks like!!!Ha Ha.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
What! Baby
Don’t know what a “What!” baby is, I have had three of them. You know the moment that you tell someone that you are pregnant they go “What!”, with a huge look of surprise mixed with disappointment. I always wanted one of those wonderful “Congratulations” babies-the ones that are accompanied by a huge smile and hug, but haven’t had one. It’s a good thing that God loves us all equally, and we aren’t judged on whether we are “What” babies or “Congratulations” babies. Jeremiah 1:5 says “ Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart:”
Psalm 139:13-15 says
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my
mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully
made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame
was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes
saw my unformed body.”
See, God knew each one of us individually before we were even in the womb. Each one of us has a plan and a purpose. The over simplification of these two things is “To know God and to make Him known.” I say simplification because to know God is a life long journey.
Psalm 139:13-15 says
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my
mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully
made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame
was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes
saw my unformed body.”
See, God knew each one of us individually before we were even in the womb. Each one of us has a plan and a purpose. The over simplification of these two things is “To know God and to make Him known.” I say simplification because to know God is a life long journey.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Remembering Who God Is, Was and Always Has Been!
My wonderful friend from college told me not to put my earthly father’s head on my eternal Father’s shoulders. I guess that I have probably have been doing that for a while now. I really haven’t thought too much about my dad for a long time. I always wanted his approval, but he was never a very affectionate man. He wasn’t upset that I had got pregnant out of wedlock, but he disowned me when I told him that the father was black. I don’t understand racism. It’s ignorance, plan and simple ignorance. He has seen Brianna only a couple of times. The first time that he saw her was at my brother’s wedding. Brianna was a flower girl and was absolutely beautiful. He looked and looked at her. I don’t know what he expected her to look like, but I could see something in his eyes. I may be wrong, but it looked a little like a sad look. Almost as if he regretted not knowing her. But I know that man, and I was probably wrong on my evaluation of the situation. I tried to talk to him- actually picked up the phone and called him about four years ago. The conversation revolved completely around him and how I had purposely got pregnant by a black man to hurt and embarrass him. “You hurt me, You embarrassed me, You lied to me. I humbled myself and apologized, but told him that I hadn’t done anything to intentionally hurt him. I asked if there was anything that could be done to fix our relationship. He then said that He had moved on with his life and there was no room in it Brianna or me (she was the only child I had at the time.) I felt really stupid after that conversation. A real idiot. I vowed never to talk to him again; I had made the effort of talking to him, and he hadn’t changed.
I guess that is how I have approached my relationship with God these last several years. I never even had the conversation with God that I had with my Dad, but I was assuming that His reaction would be the same. I just knew that if I went to Him that He would disown me, or that He already had. That He had better things to do than to be there for me. It’s a funny thing when you know what you are thinking is wrong, but you believe the lie anyway. I know who God is. I know His attributes. I know how to study His Word. I know how to make applications of what I have learned. I know how to do word studies and book studies. I know how to cross-reference and use a Strong’s Concordance. ---I just haven’t done what I know how to do. I have believed what I know to be a lie for a long time now. Satan is sneaky in the way that he gets to you. In the beginning it’s just a little sin because the big things are obvious and are avoided. It escalated into more and more until I was feeling as if there was no help, so I might as well keep on doing what I was doing.
This is what I know to be true: God is unchangeable- Immutable, perpetually the same; everlasting the same. Numbers 23:19 says “God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?” Psalm 33:11 says “But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.” Hebrews 13:8 “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Ok, if He is unchanging, then what are His attributes that never change? He is eternal, faithful, forgiving, good, gracious, great, holy, just, all knowing, loving, merciful, omnipresent, patient, all powerful, righteous, sovereign, truthful, and wise. Now is time to dig in my heels and stand firm. Most definitely not on my strength, but with the strength of the ALL POWERFUL, RIGHTEOUS GOD.
I guess that is how I have approached my relationship with God these last several years. I never even had the conversation with God that I had with my Dad, but I was assuming that His reaction would be the same. I just knew that if I went to Him that He would disown me, or that He already had. That He had better things to do than to be there for me. It’s a funny thing when you know what you are thinking is wrong, but you believe the lie anyway. I know who God is. I know His attributes. I know how to study His Word. I know how to make applications of what I have learned. I know how to do word studies and book studies. I know how to cross-reference and use a Strong’s Concordance. ---I just haven’t done what I know how to do. I have believed what I know to be a lie for a long time now. Satan is sneaky in the way that he gets to you. In the beginning it’s just a little sin because the big things are obvious and are avoided. It escalated into more and more until I was feeling as if there was no help, so I might as well keep on doing what I was doing.
This is what I know to be true: God is unchangeable- Immutable, perpetually the same; everlasting the same. Numbers 23:19 says “God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?” Psalm 33:11 says “But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.” Hebrews 13:8 “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Ok, if He is unchanging, then what are His attributes that never change? He is eternal, faithful, forgiving, good, gracious, great, holy, just, all knowing, loving, merciful, omnipresent, patient, all powerful, righteous, sovereign, truthful, and wise. Now is time to dig in my heels and stand firm. Most definitely not on my strength, but with the strength of the ALL POWERFUL, RIGHTEOUS GOD.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Being Too Honest?
This picture of Jadyn when she was one is just how I want to take in God's Word. I want to take it all in!! Is there such a thing as being too honest? Sharing too much information? I'm not sure, but I am going to trust that God will be in complete control of what I share through this blog. I have too long trusted in myself. It's a hard thing to rebuild trust when it has been lost, and I had lost trust in myself. . My mother just found out that she is a diabetic. It was extremely high when she went to the doctor. She is stubborn when it comes to going to the doctor; she avoids them like the plague. We are copeing, though. It wont hurt the entire family to eat correctly. The girls have diabetes and heart trouble on both sides of the family, and I have recently found out just how many in my family have it. The girls grandmother and grandfather on their father's side both died before their 50th bithdays. Brianna asked me last night if Nana (my mother) was going to die like her Gran Gran did. I told her that Nana was going to take care of herself so that she could be around for a long time. She then asked why her Gran Gran didn't take care of herself. I had to tell her that I didn't know. Children are wonderful aren't they. They can sometimes be honest to a fault. They ask questions and tell you things about yourself and don't think about whether they will be hurting your feelings. Brianna told me that needed to lose weight, she wanted me to be skinnier. She told the truth that is for sure. Fifty pounds later she told me that she could tell that I had lost weight, but I still needed to lose more, "but will you have enough room if another baby pops into your stomach" Ha Ha. I preceded to tell her there would be no more babies popping anywhere! All this to say --- honesty hurts and comes at a cost, but if it is coming from the right place is always benificial. So, may the Lord give me strength to always be honest with myself.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
New Day
You know the feeling that you get when it is turning from summer to fall? I guess maybe not everyone feels the same about it as I do. Fall is my favorite time of year. Absolute favorite! The temperature is coming down, the leaves are changing colors, and to me, there is an excitement in the air. That is how I feel right now. Right now I am in the heat of the summer, the dog days of summer, but the Fall is right around the corner. It will come, because Fall always comes after Summer. I won't go into details of what my situation is right now, but it can only get better. I have lost several pounds since April. I was 267 when I had Isabella in February, and I am now 211. Ok, for most that is still a huge number, and it is, but I am getting better. I had put alot of weight on as a shell to hide some of the pain I was going through with the girl's father. I'm getting my groove back, though. I know that there are alot of things that I still have to let go. Once you have been through the things that I have gone through is it possible to be normal again. I recently emailed a friend of mine in college. I told her everything--well not everything- because I am still not ready for the whole story to come out of my mouth--Do you know it took me two days to actually write the email! It is hard to trust anyone anymore. I know that God is the only one that can truly help me overcome my issues, but I still feel that He is so far away. That He is completely ashamed of me, mad at me, and disappointed in me. I know that there is nothing that can take me out of the grasp of God's hand, but this voice keeps telling me that I am nothing. I know the truth, but it is sometimes hard to believe it.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Isabella Collien Wheeler
This is Isabella. She turned 5 months old on the 7th. She was an easy birth and has been a joy ever since. It takes a little time to figure out a child's personality, but so far she is a thinker. She looks and looks. It's like she is trying to figure you out. Then when she is satisfied with her findings she will give you the biggest, cutest, gummiest smile. She is sitting up now and wants really, really badly to crawl---she is thinking on that one too! Her sister Brianna took this picture. Most of the ones that I have taken have come out with her looking drunk!:) She loves to run her mouth. Loud!
Jadyn Alysia Wheeler
Ok, this picture tells it all with Jadyn. She is completely different from her sister Brianna. Jadyn is wild, wide open. She is hard-headed, stubborn and willfull. She likes to do things for herself. Loves to poke out that bottom lip when she gets in trouble or doesn't get her way. She keeps Brianna and Madelyn running constantly. Then there is the other side of Jadyn. She is loving, caring, and drops everything to help me if I ask her to. How can she be two different children you may ask---I have no clue. She dislikes most men, hides behind my legs. But loves her Daddy---go figure. She has night terrors at night, which keep up about an hour each night. She screams for no reason. The doctor says that some children just go through this phase and that it will pass---Here's hoping to that it will be soon!!!!! Also, she has had to have several test done lately. The doctors have been worried about her kidney function. They had to do an ultra-sound of her urinary tract and found a cyst on one of her kidneys. Now granted it is as small as your pinky nail without the white, but is still scary. She ran a 104.8 fever about three weeks ago. She had a bad UTI, which is border line uncommon in a child her age. They thought that it might have been a weak muscle that was letting bacteria go back into her kidneys. So, now this means more tests--poor baby she is scared to death of the doctor's office. She has been to the emergency room at least 7 times with nurse maid's elbow. This is when her elbow basically comes out of socket. It happens at every little thing now, so we have to be careful. Can't swing her around and around-it came out when Brianna was swinging her one day. She ran out in front of a car, and I snatched her out of the way---happened again. Needless to say she hates doctors!!! But you can't knock her spirit, though!
Brianna Keyandra Wheeler
This is one of my favorite pictures of Brianna. It is a couple of years old, but it will always be a favorite. She has always been so stong, strong beyond her years. She thinks about others. It's uncanny sometimes how sensitive she is to other people's needs. She has grown up so fast. Use to she loved Dora The Explorer and Rolie Polie Olie, now its the Jonas Brothers---Did I even spell their name right. I have had to deal with race issues with her already. She came home this year with her feeling hurt because some little girls called her a white girl! What! She doesn't like being called that. She wants her hair staight like her cousin Madelyn's. Then she wants it cut like Rhianna's (singer if you don't know). Her eyes tell it all in this picture. I want so much for this little lady. I don't want her to grow up, but I know that she will, and I can't stop it. I must give her the tools to become a woman of strength, dignity, and integrity. God please give me the wisdom!
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