Remembering Who God Is, Was and Always Has Been!

My wonderful friend from college told me not to put my earthly father’s head on my eternal Father’s shoulders. I guess that I have probably have been doing that for a while now. I really haven’t thought too much about my dad for a long time. I always wanted his approval, but he was never a very affectionate man. He wasn’t upset that I had got pregnant out of wedlock, but he disowned me when I told him that the father was black. I don’t understand racism. It’s ignorance, plan and simple ignorance. He has seen Brianna only a couple of times. The first time that he saw her was at my brother’s wedding. Brianna was a flower girl and was absolutely beautiful. He looked and looked at her. I don’t know what he expected her to look like, but I could see something in his eyes. I may be wrong, but it looked a little like a sad look. Almost as if he regretted not knowing her. But I know that man, and I was probably wrong on my evaluation of the situation. I tried to talk to him- actually picked up the phone and called him about four years ago. The conversation revolved completely around him and how I had purposely got pregnant by a black man to hurt and embarrass him. “You hurt me, You embarrassed me, You lied to me. I humbled myself and apologized, but told him that I hadn’t done anything to intentionally hurt him. I asked if there was anything that could be done to fix our relationship. He then said that He had moved on with his life and there was no room in it Brianna or me (she was the only child I had at the time.) I felt really stupid after that conversation. A real idiot. I vowed never to talk to him again; I had made the effort of talking to him, and he hadn’t changed.

I guess that is how I have approached my relationship with God these last several years. I never even had the conversation with God that I had with my Dad, but I was assuming that His reaction would be the same. I just knew that if I went to Him that He would disown me, or that He already had. That He had better things to do than to be there for me. It’s a funny thing when you know what you are thinking is wrong, but you believe the lie anyway. I know who God is. I know His attributes. I know how to study His Word. I know how to make applications of what I have learned. I know how to do word studies and book studies. I know how to cross-reference and use a Strong’s Concordance. ---I just haven’t done what I know how to do. I have believed what I know to be a lie for a long time now. Satan is sneaky in the way that he gets to you. In the beginning it’s just a little sin because the big things are obvious and are avoided. It escalated into more and more until I was feeling as if there was no help, so I might as well keep on doing what I was doing.

This is what I know to be true: God is unchangeable- Immutable, perpetually the same; everlasting the same. Numbers 23:19 says “God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?” Psalm 33:11 says “But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.” Hebrews 13:8 “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.” Ok, if He is unchanging, then what are His attributes that never change? He is eternal, faithful, forgiving, good, gracious, great, holy, just, all knowing, loving, merciful, omnipresent, patient, all powerful, righteous, sovereign, truthful, and wise. Now is time to dig in my heels and stand firm. Most definitely not on my strength, but with the strength of the ALL POWERFUL, RIGHTEOUS GOD.